Jew
Well I fucked up again. I just lost it and blew up. Idk why I can’t keep my composure. I should be happier with her but I’m just more irritable. It’s probably because I’m worried all the time. It didn’t help that Michelle was being a bitch. I’ve always been there for her and as soon as she gets around friends she turns two faced like every other human being. I can’t stand myself. I’ve tried so hard to change. I can’t be myself around her. I’m losing my composure. I feel so distant from her. Why am I like this. It’s almost like I’m trying to make this dramatic. I don’t want it to be, but people keep pushing my buttons, and i keep fucking up. I’m sick of fucking up. I’m so stupid. I just drove 75 on a dirt road for about a mile. Idk why I’m mad but I am. I haven’t flipped out like this for awhile. I just want to be happy but I know nothing is going to work. The one chance I get to see her I end up acting like a huge douche bag. I hate karma. Calm down, breath. I haven’t cried for a long time. I told Julie I’m going to Oregon, and she got really pissed. I just want what’s best for me. I don’t actually think this relationship will last with my bipolarness. I really do like her though.
Never saw my dark side in your eyes
